Slow Week/Thoughts on Poker

Not much poker to report at this point in the week.

I tend to work heavily on mondays and tuesdays.. not having much of an opportunity to hit the tables on Full Tilt. Tonight though is the highly-accredited Bmore's Brawl.. where I will look to defend my two gold bracelets, all-time money and all-time knockout leads. In the 8 events I've played, I've made 5 final tables and gone heads up 3 times.

Ok, enough gloating...

I have to work late tonight, till 9:00pm so I will probably Hellmuth that tournament. I really wanted to hit the Fifty Fifty again, but I won't have time to satellite in. I could just buy-in straight, but $55 out of a $650 bankroll is a heavy investment. I'm trying to manage my bankroll correctly.. and my doing on a mostly consistent basis that is the only reason I haven't gone bust yet.

It's funny though, I have noticed a weird mental game I seem to play with myself concerning online poker.. and really poker in general. I go through strange ups and downs in terms of my conviction for playing the game.

Some days I feel like I'm playing my A-game and I have this blood-thirsty need to hit the tables and my focus is dead on. Other days, I feel like I'm just playing hands...

Now, none of this has anything to do with my passion for the game. That remains, and will always remain, without question. But the thing is, when I don't get enough sleep.. or my mind is on other things.. I really feel those are the days I shouldn't even log on or sit at a table.

And with online poker, more-so than live, it's harder to get into the poker mindset before playing. Let me explain:

When you know you have a cash game or tournament to go to at your buddies house one night, you have all day.. the drive over and the 20-30 minutes before you actually get the cards in the air to mentally prepare for playing a solid game of poker. Here's another example: An Atlantic City trip. For those of us who don't live in New Jersey, we have several hours worth of mental preparation for entering the war that is the poker felt. When you get online.. you click "log-in", type in a password, scroll down a list, find a game, click open the table, click the blank seat, chose how much you're buying in for and BAMM. You get dealt in almost immediately, playing three times as many hands as would live, nonetheless!!

So I've come to a simple conclusion: I have aspirations to make lots of money online and taking down several big titles.. hopefully land myself seats in tournaments that are televised on ESPN. Anyone who is serious about the game has thought of nothing less. But.. that doesn't mean I have to play every waking moment of my free time online. I may want to, but it's not an optimal way of doing things. If I'm not feeling it or my mind is on something else, why play? I'd rather risk my hard-earned money on a day where I can't wait to play my A-game.

Look, I love poker... but I have a life. And in that life, I really don't think I'll ever become a professional poker player. I will play the game until God makes me physically and/or mentally unable to do so.. but I never want to rely on poker as a source of income. I want it to add to it.. but not syphon from it. You see what I mean? I'm essentially building my future bankroll right now online and live from my winnings, and If I continue to do so... I will basically free roll every game I ever play in my life so long as I never go bust.

Don't get me wrong, I want a gold WSOP bracelet.. but never going bust and buying in with someone else's money for the rest of my career.. Now THAT would be an accomplishment.